When Your Husband Chooses "The Other Woman"

 It was a 2:00 o'clock in the morning confrontation with my husband, "the other one" and me. This i called the zenith of my amatuer- investigative-work after a month of suspicion over my husband's infedelity. The hard-painful truth was infront of me - he indeed was cheating with this girl! And then everything stopped when he dropped the bomb "Yes, I am in love with her! There I thought, the father of my three kids had finally left us and we are so over. Mixed emotions fluxed. It was literally a three sleepless night. I took a leave from work, couldn't think straight. My weight dropped from 60 kg to 55 kg. (stress is an effective slimming tool, haha). It feels like I hit rock bottom. 

How did I get over this nightmare?

"CRY IT OUT!"

I cried mercilessly. And to my amazement, after each cry I feel good. It is as if I have been purged from the grief, sadness, anxiety and frustration. 

Judith Orloff, Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, she encourages her patient to cry out the sadness. She said https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/emotional-freedom/201007/the-health-benefits-tears "Tears reduces stress hormones and after crying, our breathing and heart rate decrease thus giving us a calmer biological and emotional state."

"LET GO"

There are things beyond repair. Case at hand, my relationship with my husband. In fairness to him, he loves his kids. The kink that needs an ironing, in our 'familyhood', was our relationship. I've wanted us to raise our kids and grow old together, but reality sets in. He chooses the "other one". To buy peace, though it hurts, I have to be happy for him. I know it won't be easy. It will take time and a struggle to peacefully move on. 

"FORGIVE AND LET GOD "

Pray. Pray and Pray. If all efforts fail, let God work things out.

Prayer made me look at myself - a deep introspection, rather than focus on the wrongdoing of my husband. I become more touched with my spiritual side that after that surge of anger and frustration I softened in faith and love. 

Forgiveness comes hand in hand in prayer. I myself is a perfectly flawed persona. I strived to be a better person because there are these people around me who keeps on giving me chances. They have not given up on me amidst my failure. Now, here comes my husband who, at his lowest point in life, needed, the most, someone who could understand him. (I'm not a massochist nor a martyr). I do believe he deserves a second chance. Everyone does. https://www.ucb.co.uk/content/how-many-times-should-we-forgive-someone

Tide turned in my favor. He was apolegetic, remorseful and wanted to be accepted again. 

"Jesus says forgive each other “seventy times seven times” - Matthew-18:22".